What’s in a name?
Names tell stories. Some have specific spiritual meanings, others are connected to funny anecdotes or cherished ancestral ties. By pronouncing someone's name correctly, we honor and respect their unique narrative.
In a recent job exit interview with the Team Culture and Diversity Manager, I mentioned that there were moments where I had felt uncomfortable because some of my coworkers, including my direct supervisor and her supervisor as well, had mispronounced my name.
My name is Laura, which is pronounced lah-oo-rah in Spanish, and pronounced law-rah or lor-uh in English. I use the Spanish pronunciation.
The Team Culture and Diversity Manager, who is also a native Spanish speaker, then told me about her Colombian friend Cesar, who didn’t care if others pronounced his name See-zir (English pronunciation) or ceh-sahr (Spanish pronunciation). I was taken aback. What was she implying by telling me this story?
Now you’re probably having one of two reactions. You’re either as offended as I was when this happened, thinking to yourself, how is this person a Team Culture and DIVERSITY manager? This was my friend Mafe’s reaction, who serves as the Equity, Access, and Inclusion Manager at a city in California. On the other hand, when I told my cousins this story, they had a very different reaction. They were all silent, probably trying to figure out why I was so upset, or secretly annoyed—not at the Team Culture & Diversity Manager—but at me. Now I should clarify that they are among the most supportive people in my life, who accept me exactly for who I am. Whether you’re on Team Mafe or Team Cousins, stick with me! Let’s talk about why name pronunciation is important.
In Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, when Juliet grapples with the reality that she has fallen in love with a Montague, her family’s enemy, she questions, “What's in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet.” In other words, names are irrelevant. What defines a rose is not its name, what makes Romeo who he is is not his last name. And while I believe what makes me who I am is not entirely defined by my name or its pronunciation, it is nonetheless a core part of my identity, especially now as an immigrant.
Migration has been a blessing in many ways, but I feel that my identity has paid the price. I had to let go of the places where I felt most like myself, the people with whom I felt the deepest connection, and the food that invigorated my spirit.
As a migrant I sometimes feel like an impostor. It doesn’t happen that much anymore, but when I first moved, I constantly felt that I was living a life that wasn’t mine. Hearing someone pronounce my name in Spanish serves as a grounding pole, it reminds me that I’m me, that this is my life. When I hear my name pronounced in English, I can't help but feel, even if unintentionally, that it conveys a message of disregard for my background—suggesting, “You’re here now, and your past doesn’t matter.”
I dare to say that the majority of people whose names are mispronounced in the United States are either migrants or come from families with cultural backgrounds that differ from Western and Anglo-Saxon norms. They probably have to worry about more than just their name being mispronounced. Some people (like Cesar, apparently) assimilate into “American” society. I respect that decision, which in many cases isn’t even voluntary, or presents itself as the only way to be accepted and have a chance at thriving. But I want to live in world where myself and others belong without having to assimilate. So sticking to the Spanish pronunciation of my name is also a conscious political decision.
Now, as a white Westerner I’ve been on the other side as well. I’ve met people whose names I find difficult to pronounce. But if I was able to learn how to say “mischievous” or “Yosemite",” I can learn how to pronounce the names of people that cross my path. Instead of being intimidated or annoyed at names we have a hard time pronouncing, why not feel excited about the opportunity of connecting with someone with a different background than us?
Names tell stories. Some have specific spiritual meanings, others are connected to funny anecdotes or cherished ancestral ties. By pronouncing someone's name correctly, we honor and respect their unique narrative.
So to close off, how about a few tips on how to ensure we pronounce people’s names correctly?
ASK! I’ve never felt offended when someone has asked me how my name was pronounced. On the contrary, I’ve felt validated. If you're unsure about how to pronounce someone’s name, or if you didn’t quite catch it when they introduced themselves, don't hesitate to ask them to share the pronunciation again.
WRITE DOWN THE PRONUNCIATION: If you still can’t catch the pronunciation, ask the person if they can write the pronunciation down for you. Let them know that you want to make sure you pronounce it correctly and thank them for helping you do that.
RELY ON MNEMONICS: Mnemonics are memory techniques that help us remember information by associating it with something easier to recall. Create mnemonics to help you remember how to pronounce someone's name. For example, I’ve always thought that in the chorus of the song "Pump It" by the Black Eyed Peas, it sounds like they’re saying "PUMP IT, LAURAA."
Yes, I get pumped. Yes, I think it’s a great mnemonic for my name.
BRING IT TO THE WORK PLACE: Ask that your organization or company implement name pronunciations in email signatures. Here’s a guide on how to do so.
Do you have other tips or want to share your experience with name (mis)pronunciations? Leave me a comment! I’d love to hear from you.